“The show joins Todd Howard, an evictor whose job description is to kick people out of their homes. Usually the people who get evicted aren't exactly upstanding citizens, and Todd encounters some seriously despicable, dirty, dangerous and just plain nuts people. Working with his business partner Rick and his wife Randy, the team goes to work at their 150-plus residences, commercial and retail properties. When these people don't pay their rent or violate their leases, it's time to go, and they don't always go willingly. Tune in to see all the hi-jinks that ensue in these real life tales of evictions on Spike TV's ‘World's Worst Tenants.’ “
Umm...yeah. I’ve been saying someone needed to make this show for years... as have hundreds of other people around the country in my line of work. People are crazy, crazy, crazy and dirty, dirty, dirty. Sometimes it’s the ones you expect and sometimes it’s the ones you’d never believe. The toothless, tube top-wearing hilljack women with five kids and a cross-eyed dog? You’re not surprised when it turns out she has roaches and towering piles of garbage in the kitchen. But what about the well-dressed doctor who drives a BMW? Oh, he’s storing urine in jars in his garage and has a collection of over one thousand purple bowties in a large pile in his spare bedroom.
Sometimes tv helps our industry, but mostly it just harms it. I can’t tell you how many times a show like ‘Judge Judy’ gives residents false expectations about what they can and cannot do. Here’s my recurring nightmare scenario:
Me: “Good morning, Mr. Smith. What can we do for you today?”
Resident: “I have to move because I got in a fight with my girlfriend. I punched her in the face so she moved out. She was paying half the rent and now I can’t afford to live here anymore. So I’m moving.”
Me: “Well, Mr. Smith, first and foremost, you're a jerkface. Secondly, you’re in a lease through December, so you will be responsible for rent until 12/31 unless we are able to re-rent the apartment.”
Resident: *incredulous* “But that’s not fair! I don’t WANT to move – I HAVE to! SHE moved out! It’s not my fault!”
Me: “Mr. Smith, you signed a lease. You agreed that you would pay rent on this apartment through the end of December--”
Resident: “You’re not listening: I HAVE TO MOVE.”
Me: "I am listening, sir. Regardless of the situation, you signed a contract and so you are bound even if you leave.”
Resident: *sticks his finger in my face* “That’s ILLEGAL. You can’t charge me if I’m not living there! I know my rights! That's double indemnity derp derp derp derp....*continuous ranting*”
Me: “Let me guess, sir – you watch ‘Judge Judy’.”
Resident: “Yeah - how did you know?” (Obviously, I'm exaggerating to make a point. But the sad reality is that I have this conversation on a monthly - if not weekly - basis.)
There was also a segment on “Good Morning, America” a few years ago where the presenter advised people to “bargain with their landlords” if they felt they were paying too much rent. First of all, that may fly in New York (where the show is filmed), but most states have strict laws regarding the fair and equal offering of housing. To be brief, it’s illegal to be inconsistent with the pricing you offer similar prospects in similar situations. If Person A and Person B both come in on Tuesday and want to rent the same two-bedroom, I can’t give Person B a different price just because they dickered over it. We’re not a fish market; we don’t have the ability to haggle indiscriminately.
Anyway, I have some tenants to nominate for SpikeTV’s “World’s Worst Tenants,” starting with the guy who had an ongoing leak from his bathroom ceiling that he NEVER REPORTED. We eventually discovered it after we evicted him and had to tear out the whole ceiling and bathtub surround, remove tons of mold, and repair everything. Cost? $3700 in repairs. Would you like to let this gentleman come and live with you, Judge Judy?
