I am not loved by the general public; my job makes me the enemy of many. I have made people (men and women) cry and I have been called quite a few curse words (that I won’t bore you with here); I have even been threatened with bodily and psychic harm. (I had a maintenance technician who was a warlock. He was fired and subsequently vowed to put a curse on me.) But my favorite part of being a property manager is when tenants and/or their families attempt to make me feel guilty about enforcing our policies. They tell me I’ll “be sorry,” or that certain things will be “on [my] conscience.” They say I have “no heart” or that I don’t care.
Let’s be clear: it is not my job to care. It is my job to collect rent on the apartment for which you signed a lease. (In fact, “caring” – as my tenants define it - can quickly become a conflict of interest.) And it is my job to enforce the policies of my company as well as to observe the *many* laws/statutes governing the fair and equal sale/management of housing. Personal feelings cannot/do not enter into it. You want me to feel bad for you? Fine. I am sorry that you didn’t figure out how to pay your rent on time when you knew that it was due on the 5th and your check wouldn’t be coming ‘til the 6th. I am sorry that you chose to spend all of your money on Christmas presents, wrote us a bad check for your December rent, and are now being evicted in January. I am sorry that you allowed your abusive ex-boyfriend to move into your apartment (without our permission), that he attacked you, and that you now want out of your lease early because you don’t feel “safe.” I am sorry that you found a job in another state and want to move early without having to pay out your lease. I am sorry that you lost your job and can’t pay your rent. I am sorry that I can’t let you live here for free. I AM SORRY.
It’s all part of this culture of blame that we live in. Everything is someone else’s fault; blame whomever you have to in order to get an exception made. I’m not saying that I’ve never been a willing participant in this game, but I’ve certainly never called someone “monstrous” or told them they were “of Satan” because they wouldn’t waive a late fee. (Both are things I’ve been called.) I’ve never screamed into the phone so forcefully that I gave myself a heart attack (This happened to someone else in my business; a resident was complaining over the phone and got so upset that he had a heart attack.) And I’ve never tried to sue someone because he/she wouldn’t let me break a policy which I agreed to observe. (Tenant filed a claim against me because we kept her deposit after she moved out early.)
Take responsibility for yourself and your behavior, people. Alternatively, STAY AWAY FROM MY APARTMENT COMPLEXES.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Reviews Continued - wherein Kelli follows through on her promise.
Sooner rather than later (as promised), here are the rest of my reviews. And I already have another five books to review - I hope to have those up here before I leave in early February on my cruise. Enjoy!
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"The Help"
by Kathryn Stockett
Told from the perspective of three woman - one white, two black - this novel explores the tense, compelling, and sometimes poignant relationship between white women and their black maids in the South of the 1960's. Skeeter has just returned home from college only to find that her degree doesn't impress her family as much as a good marriage would; her usual confidante, her maid Constantine, has disappeared and no one will tell her why. Aibileen, a black maid for one of Skeeter's friends, is raising her seventeenth white child while grieving over the loss of her own son. And Minny, Aibileen's friend, has just lost another job for sassing her white employer; Minny finds employment with someone too new in town to know her reputation, but this white women has secrets of her own. The three women, seemingly the unlikeliest of heroines, band together for a secret project that puts their reputations - and even their lives - at stake. Based on Stockett's own experiences growing up in the "recovering racist" town of Jackson, Mississippi, "The Help" is a story about the lines we tolerate and those we defiantly cross.
Kelli's Thoughts: Comical and heartbreaking, this book is one of the most refreshing "best sellers" I've read in a long time. The characters are fully formed - not caricatures - and each tells her story with a clear, unique, and powerful voice. The only drawback in my opinion is that the visual descriptions suffer a bit because of the concentration on characterization and dialogue; I didn't really feel the hot summer nights in the black shantytown, or the haughty atmosphere of the all-white Junior League meetings. A film version will be coming out soon; hopefully, they keep the strong characters AND give us some good visuals as well.
Overall Ratings: 4 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society" by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, or "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot
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"Matched"
by Ally Condie
For Cassia, nothing is left to chance (or choice) - not what she will eat, not the job she will have, not her activities in her spare time, nor the man she will marry. In "Matched," Society Officials have determined optimal outcomes for all aspects of daily life (including the time of your death), thereby removing the "burden" of choice. Things such as writing and the owning of personal items are forbidden, seen as roadblocks to an equal and fair society. When Cassia's best friend Xander is identified as her ideal marriage Match it reaffirms her belief that Society knows best... that is until she plugs in her Match microchip and a different boy’s face flashes on the screen. This strange mistake (from a society that doesn't make them) leads Cassia down a dangerous path to the previously unthinkable - rebelling against the "perfect" predetermined life Society has in store for her.
Kelli's Thoughts: This book has similar themes to the Hunger Games trilogy - dystopian society of the future, initially innocent heroine who becomes jaded - but this story focuses on romance where the Hunger Games books focused on violence. The main character is really only rebelling because of a boy from the wrong side of the tracks who she's told she can't have. Interesting themes, bad dialogue: the author has this weird need to end each chapter with some kind of homily. An example would be when Cassia says, "It felt strange to be rebelling this way against rules I was previously accustomed to. But maybe we all rebel in some ways?" It seems like she wants it to come off as deep and thought-provoking, but it just ends up being awkward and actually made me feel disrespected as a reader. Granted, this is YA fiction... but I was never that dumb, even at 14.
Overall Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: *shudder* "Twilight" - but only if you're the kind of person who would never admit to liking it. Also, Lois Lowry's "The Giver"
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"Fallen" and "Torment"
by Lauren Kate
In "Fallen," Luce must spend her senior year at the Sword & Cross reform school after her boyfriend dies in a mysterious fire. Did the dark shadows that have tormented her all of her life have something to do with it? Or is she, as she fears, going insane? When Luce meets fellow student Daniel, she feels a familiar longing, making her believe they have met before. When she pursues him and tries to discuss her feelings of deja vu, Daniel cryptically tells her that the truth would kill her as it has many times before. And then there's the charming Cam: Luce wants to like him, but something just feels wrong about him. Strange deaths, homicidal Goth girls, unwanted advances, and a seemingly unrequited crush - all plague Luce's steps at her new school. As Luce figures out that her classmates are decidedly unnatural, she also discovers that this life may not have been her first.
Kelli's Thoughts: I really enjoyed these. (However, I am currently also obsessed with YA fiction, sooo... others may not share my appreciation!) Not too much of a spoiler here: these books deal with the concept of fallen angels. The plot of both revolves around lovers who find one another, only to lose one another over and over again in a story that spans centuries. Both play with the idea that Good and Evil are less black and white, and more shades of gray; basically, the idea of a "bad guy" is relative, history is written by the winning side, etc. The books are a little angsty, but not to a sickening degree. Luce as a main character is a somewhat maddening (Why doesn't she draw the obvious conclusions?) and a little too gaga over Daniel. The story caught my interest more than anything; it's interesting and fairly well-plotted. Nutshell: I will be buying the third book when it comes out, but I won't feel the need to get it the day it comes out.
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: The House of Night novels by PC and Kristin Cast
********************************************************************************************
That's all for now, chickadees!
************************************************************************************
"The Help"
by Kathryn Stockett
Told from the perspective of three woman - one white, two black - this novel explores the tense, compelling, and sometimes poignant relationship between white women and their black maids in the South of the 1960's. Skeeter has just returned home from college only to find that her degree doesn't impress her family as much as a good marriage would; her usual confidante, her maid Constantine, has disappeared and no one will tell her why. Aibileen, a black maid for one of Skeeter's friends, is raising her seventeenth white child while grieving over the loss of her own son. And Minny, Aibileen's friend, has just lost another job for sassing her white employer; Minny finds employment with someone too new in town to know her reputation, but this white women has secrets of her own. The three women, seemingly the unlikeliest of heroines, band together for a secret project that puts their reputations - and even their lives - at stake. Based on Stockett's own experiences growing up in the "recovering racist" town of Jackson, Mississippi, "The Help" is a story about the lines we tolerate and those we defiantly cross.
Kelli's Thoughts: Comical and heartbreaking, this book is one of the most refreshing "best sellers" I've read in a long time. The characters are fully formed - not caricatures - and each tells her story with a clear, unique, and powerful voice. The only drawback in my opinion is that the visual descriptions suffer a bit because of the concentration on characterization and dialogue; I didn't really feel the hot summer nights in the black shantytown, or the haughty atmosphere of the all-white Junior League meetings. A film version will be coming out soon; hopefully, they keep the strong characters AND give us some good visuals as well.
Overall Ratings: 4 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society" by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, or "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot
***************************************************************************************
"Matched"
by Ally Condie
For Cassia, nothing is left to chance (or choice) - not what she will eat, not the job she will have, not her activities in her spare time, nor the man she will marry. In "Matched," Society Officials have determined optimal outcomes for all aspects of daily life (including the time of your death), thereby removing the "burden" of choice. Things such as writing and the owning of personal items are forbidden, seen as roadblocks to an equal and fair society. When Cassia's best friend Xander is identified as her ideal marriage Match it reaffirms her belief that Society knows best... that is until she plugs in her Match microchip and a different boy’s face flashes on the screen. This strange mistake (from a society that doesn't make them) leads Cassia down a dangerous path to the previously unthinkable - rebelling against the "perfect" predetermined life Society has in store for her.
Kelli's Thoughts: This book has similar themes to the Hunger Games trilogy - dystopian society of the future, initially innocent heroine who becomes jaded - but this story focuses on romance where the Hunger Games books focused on violence. The main character is really only rebelling because of a boy from the wrong side of the tracks who she's told she can't have. Interesting themes, bad dialogue: the author has this weird need to end each chapter with some kind of homily. An example would be when Cassia says, "It felt strange to be rebelling this way against rules I was previously accustomed to. But maybe we all rebel in some ways?" It seems like she wants it to come off as deep and thought-provoking, but it just ends up being awkward and actually made me feel disrespected as a reader. Granted, this is YA fiction... but I was never that dumb, even at 14.
Overall Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: *shudder* "Twilight" - but only if you're the kind of person who would never admit to liking it. Also, Lois Lowry's "The Giver"
*******************************************************************************************
"Fallen" and "Torment"
by Lauren Kate
In "Fallen," Luce must spend her senior year at the Sword & Cross reform school after her boyfriend dies in a mysterious fire. Did the dark shadows that have tormented her all of her life have something to do with it? Or is she, as she fears, going insane? When Luce meets fellow student Daniel, she feels a familiar longing, making her believe they have met before. When she pursues him and tries to discuss her feelings of deja vu, Daniel cryptically tells her that the truth would kill her as it has many times before. And then there's the charming Cam: Luce wants to like him, but something just feels wrong about him. Strange deaths, homicidal Goth girls, unwanted advances, and a seemingly unrequited crush - all plague Luce's steps at her new school. As Luce figures out that her classmates are decidedly unnatural, she also discovers that this life may not have been her first.
In "Torment," Luce has discovered the true nature of her relationship with Daniel, but not all secrets have been revealed. In an effort to protect her, Daniel removes Luce from Sword & Cross and places her in another boarding school, the hippie-ish Shoreline. Although his pact with Cam prevents him from doing so, Daniel sneaks in to see Luce, confusing their relationship even more. Her training at Shoreline is helping Luce to fight back against the shadows that previously plagued her... but it's also giving her the confidence to take it one step further and try to control them. Will Luce ever truly understand the supernatural war going on around her? Will Daniel ever trust her enough to tell her the truth about who he is and who she was?
Kelli's Thoughts: I really enjoyed these. (However, I am currently also obsessed with YA fiction, sooo... others may not share my appreciation!) Not too much of a spoiler here: these books deal with the concept of fallen angels. The plot of both revolves around lovers who find one another, only to lose one another over and over again in a story that spans centuries. Both play with the idea that Good and Evil are less black and white, and more shades of gray; basically, the idea of a "bad guy" is relative, history is written by the winning side, etc. The books are a little angsty, but not to a sickening degree. Luce as a main character is a somewhat maddening (Why doesn't she draw the obvious conclusions?) and a little too gaga over Daniel. The story caught my interest more than anything; it's interesting and fairly well-plotted. Nutshell: I will be buying the third book when it comes out, but I won't feel the need to get it the day it comes out.
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: The House of Night novels by PC and Kristin Cast
********************************************************************************************
That's all for now, chickadees!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Book Reviews or "How I got lost on the way to my blog."
I am alive, gentle readers! When you get a load of the list of books below, you'll understand my reticence to begin this post. (i.e. I have a crapload to review) Shall we begin?
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"My Stroke of Insight"
by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.
First of all, I need to preface this review by saying that I expected something completely different from this book than what I got, and that this will inevitably color my review of it. I picked this book up after listening to an interview with Bolte Taylor on NPR. Based on the interview, I thought the book would be a kind of instruction manual on how to tap into previously inaccessible portions of your brain; Bolte Taylor promised as much when speaking with NPR. Instead, the book was as is described below:
Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain scientist with Harvard training, had a massive stroke in 1996. This book details her thoughts and actions during the actual stroke as well her eight-year recovery. Bolte Taylor's focus is on how the stroke changed her relationship with her mind and her surroundings.
The first half of the book concerns the actual stroke; Bolte Taylor describes how she witnessed herself having a stroke and the subsequent feeling of peace that followed when her (logical) left brain shut down and her (intiutive, kinesthetic) right brain became dominant. She methodically delineates *each* step she took to make the cognitive leaps between realizing what she needed to do to get help for herself and actually making her poorly functioning body react to those realizations. Kelli's thoughts: this part - which may be extremely interesting to scientists and/or medical practitioners - was a little long for my liking. I mean, she spends 28 pages just describing the onset of the stroke and how she had to labor to make a phone call to alert someone to her condition. Basically, you have to slog through this part to get to the good stuff.
In the second half of the book, Bolte Taylor writes from a post-recovery perspective and provides examples of how living with a damaged left brain for eight years changed her relationship with the world and with her own body. To quote Bolte Taylor, "When the cells in my left brain became nonfunctional because they were swimming in a pool of blood, they lost their ability to inhibit the cells in my right hemisphere. In my right brain, I shifted into the consciousness of the present moment. I was in the right here, right now awareness, with no memories of my past and no perception of the future. The beauty of La-la land (my right hemisphere experience of the present moment) was that everything was an explosion of magnificent stimulation and I dwelled in a space of euphoria. This is great way to exist if you don't have to communicate with the external world or care whether or not you have the capacity to learn."
After having spent so much time cocooned in her right brain, she realized the peace and tranquility therein. As she recovered, Bolte Taylor practiced forging connections with that peace, so that she was able to tap into it despite her left hemisphere's growing dominance. She did this by focusing on sensory stimulation (and deprivation), meditation, and making a conscious effort to be in control of the complex circuitry of her brain. Kelli's thoughts: now, THIS, is the good stuff. Did you know that you are in complete control of "the anger circuit" in your brain? Once you become angry, your brain begins a 90-second circuit which produces physiological responses - things like a reddened face, elevated blood pressure, heightened breathing. After those 90 seconds pass, you are back in control... if you choose to be. Essentially, you can't blame anyone for your actions when you're mad but yourself; and if you're still upset after 90 seconds, then it's because you're allowing yourself to be so. I know - awesome stuff, right? And there are more of these gems in the second half of the book.
Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: books by Dr. Sanjay Gupta... or are a brain scientist!
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"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"
by Seth Grahame-Smith
It's 1888 in rural Indiana and, in a dimly-lit one-room cabin, Abraham Lincoln watches his mother slip away due to a deadly illness. Only later does he uncover the truth: her affliction was actually caused by a vampire. From then on, Lincoln devotes himself to a life of seeking out and destroying vampires and their slave-owning allies. Graham-Smith has reconstructed the "true" life story of our greatest president for the first time, thereby revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of the United States.
Kelli's thoughts: Ugh. This book seemed SO promising. Alas, it is stupid and possibly a bit insulting as well. Without spoiling it for anyone who may be so unfortunate as to believe that he/she should *still* read it even after my bad review, let me just say that there are some big unanswered questions here: for example, why doesn't Lincoln ever share the existence of this threat with the rest of the country? Also, (and more importantly) the author's decision to reduce slavery to a mere intrigue of the vampires is repulsive to say the least.
Overall Rating: 0 out of 5 stars - this book wasted my time and made me mad.
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: I'm at a loss here... other boring books that belittle the oppression of an entire race of people?
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"The Passage"
by Justin Cronin
This is an epic story about a man-made virus that nearly destroys humanity, and the six-year-old girl who holds the key to its survival. "The Passage" takes the reader from the early days of the virus to the aftermath of the destruction, where packs of the infected roam the desolate cities looking for food, and the survivors eke out a bleak, brutal existence.
Kelli's thoughts: Beautifully-constructed story that takes you in from the first page and won't let you go until the last. The author identifies his "virals" as vampires, but these are not sexy, sparkly vampires; they're closer to the old-school Nosferatus... but maybe with a dose of the creation from "The Fly." They're man-made and military-bred - definitely an original creation of the author's; these vampires are hairless, insect-like, glow-in-the-dark mutations who are inseparably linked to their makers and the young girl who could destroy them all. This book has a chokehold on the 'science' part of science fiction. I loved, loved, LOVED it. Don Chaon, a reviewer on Amazon, expresses it perfectly when he writes, "About three-quarters of the way through' The Passage,' I found myself in the grip of that peculiar and intense readerly emotion. One part of my brain couldn’t wait to get to the next big revelation, and I found myself wanting to leapfrog from paragraph to paragraph, hurtling toward each looming climax. Meanwhile, another part of my brain was watching the dwindling final pages with dread, knowing that things would be over soon, and wishing to linger with each sentence and character a little while longer."
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars (And it's the first in a trilogy!)
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: "Andromeda Strain" by Michael Crichton or Bradbury's "The Martian Chronicles"
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"A Storm of Swords" and "A Feast for Crows"
by George R. R. Martin
Note: I am reviewing these two books together as they are part of a series and simply too enterwined to review separately.
The third and fourth installments of the staggeringly epic saga that began with "A Game of Thrones" and continued in "A Clash of Kings" are one of the more rewarding examples of "bigger is better" in contemporary fantasy. As the richly imagined kingdom of Westeros slides closer to its 10-year winter, both the weather and the warfare worsen. In "A Storm of Swords", House Lannister uneasily rules from the Iron Throne in the north. With the aid of a peasant wench, Jaime Lannister (the Kingslayer), escapes from jail in Riverrun. Jaime goes to Robb Stark to secure the release of Joffrey's prisoners, Robb's sisters, Arya and Sansa. Meanwhile, in the south, Queen Daenarys tries to establish her claim to various thrones with an army of eunuchs, but discovers that she must choose between conquering more and ruling what she has already taken. In "A Feast for Crows," Brienne of Tarth is looking for Lady Catelyn's daughters, Queen Cersei is losing her mind and Arya Stark is training with the Faceless Men of Braavos. The complexity of characters such as Daenarys, Arya, and Jaime will keep readers plowing through the vast number of pages contained in these volumes, for the author makes us care deeply about their fates.
Kelli's thoughts: I can't even keep my obvious appreciation for these books out of my synopsis above. Simply put, this is the best series I have ever read. Considering that I've been reading adult-level books since the age of five and that I read at a rate of about 50 books a year, that's saying something. The characters, the dialogue, the characterization, the plot development - all are practically flawless. These books hover around 600 pages, but you barely notice the time spent in reading them because you're so absorbed in what's going to happen next. Something else that must be mentioned is Martin's amazing ability to relate such sensual experiences as the heat of wildfire, the smell of the sea, and the sheer indigestibility of the medieval banquet at its most excessive. Fair warning though, Martin plays for keeps - his characters are in *real* danger and don't always make it out alive
Overall Rating: 15 out of 5 stars (It' s my system - I can do whatever I want ! :P)
You Will Enjoy These Books if You Like: medieval history, the works of J.R.R. Tolkien or Robert Jordan
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"The Hunger Games," "Catching Fire," and "Mockingjay"
by Suzanne Collins
Collectively known as the "Hunger Games" trilogy, these three books follow the exploits of Katniss Everdeen, a teenager who volunteers to participate in her society's annual gladiatorial games in a "Thunderdome"-style arena. Once a year the government chooses two children from each of the twelve districts to compete against one another in a live and televised reality show. Twenty-four teens enter, and only one survives. (Katniss volunteers when her younger sister's name is chosen.) The series covers not only Katniss' participation in these brutal (Teenagers killing each other with as much remorse as feral animals!) games, but also her growing resentment towards (and rebellion against) her Orwellian government. To complicate matters, Katniss is also torn between two suitors - one more suited to who she is and one more suited to who she could become.
Kelli's thoughts: these are designated "Young Adult" fiction, but "Anne of Green Gables" they certainly are not. Suicide bombers, torture, the slaughtering of children - some heavy themes to be sure. The real gore is mostly "off screen," which sometimes makes it all the more frightening. I mean, I can probably imagine worse than what someone can write. Great dialogue, smart writing, well-paced action. Oh, and then there's the fact that this is a dystopian novel where the author has actually managed to create a believable future; no made-up slang here, or casual references to extinct dolphins. My only complaint is the ending; admittedly, you can't please everyone and no matter what she chose, the author was bound to alienate someone. However, I never totally bought the relationship Katniss has with the boy she eventually chooses (Trying not to spoil anything here - if you've read the books, give me shout and tell me if you agree.); I didn't feel like it was in keeping with the fiery nature of the character. Regardless, these books are both terrifying and amazing.
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy These Books if You Like: "The Running Man" by Stephen King or Horace McCoy's "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"
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Okay - I have to stop... even though I have four more books to review! ("The Help" by Kathryn Stockett, Ally Condie's "Matched," as well as "Fallen" and "Torment" by Lauren Kate) Stay tuned, gentle readers. Cross my heart that the next set of reviews won't take so long to see the light of day.
*********************************************************************************
"My Stroke of Insight"
by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.
First of all, I need to preface this review by saying that I expected something completely different from this book than what I got, and that this will inevitably color my review of it. I picked this book up after listening to an interview with Bolte Taylor on NPR. Based on the interview, I thought the book would be a kind of instruction manual on how to tap into previously inaccessible portions of your brain; Bolte Taylor promised as much when speaking with NPR. Instead, the book was as is described below:
Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain scientist with Harvard training, had a massive stroke in 1996. This book details her thoughts and actions during the actual stroke as well her eight-year recovery. Bolte Taylor's focus is on how the stroke changed her relationship with her mind and her surroundings.
The first half of the book concerns the actual stroke; Bolte Taylor describes how she witnessed herself having a stroke and the subsequent feeling of peace that followed when her (logical) left brain shut down and her (intiutive, kinesthetic) right brain became dominant. She methodically delineates *each* step she took to make the cognitive leaps between realizing what she needed to do to get help for herself and actually making her poorly functioning body react to those realizations. Kelli's thoughts: this part - which may be extremely interesting to scientists and/or medical practitioners - was a little long for my liking. I mean, she spends 28 pages just describing the onset of the stroke and how she had to labor to make a phone call to alert someone to her condition. Basically, you have to slog through this part to get to the good stuff.
In the second half of the book, Bolte Taylor writes from a post-recovery perspective and provides examples of how living with a damaged left brain for eight years changed her relationship with the world and with her own body. To quote Bolte Taylor, "When the cells in my left brain became nonfunctional because they were swimming in a pool of blood, they lost their ability to inhibit the cells in my right hemisphere. In my right brain, I shifted into the consciousness of the present moment. I was in the right here, right now awareness, with no memories of my past and no perception of the future. The beauty of La-la land (my right hemisphere experience of the present moment) was that everything was an explosion of magnificent stimulation and I dwelled in a space of euphoria. This is great way to exist if you don't have to communicate with the external world or care whether or not you have the capacity to learn."
After having spent so much time cocooned in her right brain, she realized the peace and tranquility therein. As she recovered, Bolte Taylor practiced forging connections with that peace, so that she was able to tap into it despite her left hemisphere's growing dominance. She did this by focusing on sensory stimulation (and deprivation), meditation, and making a conscious effort to be in control of the complex circuitry of her brain. Kelli's thoughts: now, THIS, is the good stuff. Did you know that you are in complete control of "the anger circuit" in your brain? Once you become angry, your brain begins a 90-second circuit which produces physiological responses - things like a reddened face, elevated blood pressure, heightened breathing. After those 90 seconds pass, you are back in control... if you choose to be. Essentially, you can't blame anyone for your actions when you're mad but yourself; and if you're still upset after 90 seconds, then it's because you're allowing yourself to be so. I know - awesome stuff, right? And there are more of these gems in the second half of the book.
Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: books by Dr. Sanjay Gupta... or are a brain scientist!
*****************************************************************************************
"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"
by Seth Grahame-Smith
It's 1888 in rural Indiana and, in a dimly-lit one-room cabin, Abraham Lincoln watches his mother slip away due to a deadly illness. Only later does he uncover the truth: her affliction was actually caused by a vampire. From then on, Lincoln devotes himself to a life of seeking out and destroying vampires and their slave-owning allies. Graham-Smith has reconstructed the "true" life story of our greatest president for the first time, thereby revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of the United States.
Kelli's thoughts: Ugh. This book seemed SO promising. Alas, it is stupid and possibly a bit insulting as well. Without spoiling it for anyone who may be so unfortunate as to believe that he/she should *still* read it even after my bad review, let me just say that there are some big unanswered questions here: for example, why doesn't Lincoln ever share the existence of this threat with the rest of the country? Also, (and more importantly) the author's decision to reduce slavery to a mere intrigue of the vampires is repulsive to say the least.
Overall Rating: 0 out of 5 stars - this book wasted my time and made me mad.
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: I'm at a loss here... other boring books that belittle the oppression of an entire race of people?
*************************************************************************************
"The Passage"
by Justin Cronin
This is an epic story about a man-made virus that nearly destroys humanity, and the six-year-old girl who holds the key to its survival. "The Passage" takes the reader from the early days of the virus to the aftermath of the destruction, where packs of the infected roam the desolate cities looking for food, and the survivors eke out a bleak, brutal existence.
Kelli's thoughts: Beautifully-constructed story that takes you in from the first page and won't let you go until the last. The author identifies his "virals" as vampires, but these are not sexy, sparkly vampires; they're closer to the old-school Nosferatus... but maybe with a dose of the creation from "The Fly." They're man-made and military-bred - definitely an original creation of the author's; these vampires are hairless, insect-like, glow-in-the-dark mutations who are inseparably linked to their makers and the young girl who could destroy them all. This book has a chokehold on the 'science' part of science fiction. I loved, loved, LOVED it. Don Chaon, a reviewer on Amazon, expresses it perfectly when he writes, "About three-quarters of the way through' The Passage,' I found myself in the grip of that peculiar and intense readerly emotion. One part of my brain couldn’t wait to get to the next big revelation, and I found myself wanting to leapfrog from paragraph to paragraph, hurtling toward each looming climax. Meanwhile, another part of my brain was watching the dwindling final pages with dread, knowing that things would be over soon, and wishing to linger with each sentence and character a little while longer."
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 stars (And it's the first in a trilogy!)
You Will Enjoy This Book if You Like: "Andromeda Strain" by Michael Crichton or Bradbury's "The Martian Chronicles"
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"A Storm of Swords" and "A Feast for Crows"
by George R. R. Martin
Note: I am reviewing these two books together as they are part of a series and simply too enterwined to review separately.
The third and fourth installments of the staggeringly epic saga that began with "A Game of Thrones" and continued in "A Clash of Kings" are one of the more rewarding examples of "bigger is better" in contemporary fantasy. As the richly imagined kingdom of Westeros slides closer to its 10-year winter, both the weather and the warfare worsen. In "A Storm of Swords", House Lannister uneasily rules from the Iron Throne in the north. With the aid of a peasant wench, Jaime Lannister (the Kingslayer), escapes from jail in Riverrun. Jaime goes to Robb Stark to secure the release of Joffrey's prisoners, Robb's sisters, Arya and Sansa. Meanwhile, in the south, Queen Daenarys tries to establish her claim to various thrones with an army of eunuchs, but discovers that she must choose between conquering more and ruling what she has already taken. In "A Feast for Crows," Brienne of Tarth is looking for Lady Catelyn's daughters, Queen Cersei is losing her mind and Arya Stark is training with the Faceless Men of Braavos. The complexity of characters such as Daenarys, Arya, and Jaime will keep readers plowing through the vast number of pages contained in these volumes, for the author makes us care deeply about their fates.
Kelli's thoughts: I can't even keep my obvious appreciation for these books out of my synopsis above. Simply put, this is the best series I have ever read. Considering that I've been reading adult-level books since the age of five and that I read at a rate of about 50 books a year, that's saying something. The characters, the dialogue, the characterization, the plot development - all are practically flawless. These books hover around 600 pages, but you barely notice the time spent in reading them because you're so absorbed in what's going to happen next. Something else that must be mentioned is Martin's amazing ability to relate such sensual experiences as the heat of wildfire, the smell of the sea, and the sheer indigestibility of the medieval banquet at its most excessive. Fair warning though, Martin plays for keeps - his characters are in *real* danger and don't always make it out alive
Overall Rating: 15 out of 5 stars (It' s my system - I can do whatever I want ! :P)
You Will Enjoy These Books if You Like: medieval history, the works of J.R.R. Tolkien or Robert Jordan
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"The Hunger Games," "Catching Fire," and "Mockingjay"
by Suzanne Collins
Collectively known as the "Hunger Games" trilogy, these three books follow the exploits of Katniss Everdeen, a teenager who volunteers to participate in her society's annual gladiatorial games in a "Thunderdome"-style arena. Once a year the government chooses two children from each of the twelve districts to compete against one another in a live and televised reality show. Twenty-four teens enter, and only one survives. (Katniss volunteers when her younger sister's name is chosen.) The series covers not only Katniss' participation in these brutal (Teenagers killing each other with as much remorse as feral animals!) games, but also her growing resentment towards (and rebellion against) her Orwellian government. To complicate matters, Katniss is also torn between two suitors - one more suited to who she is and one more suited to who she could become.
Kelli's thoughts: these are designated "Young Adult" fiction, but "Anne of Green Gables" they certainly are not. Suicide bombers, torture, the slaughtering of children - some heavy themes to be sure. The real gore is mostly "off screen," which sometimes makes it all the more frightening. I mean, I can probably imagine worse than what someone can write. Great dialogue, smart writing, well-paced action. Oh, and then there's the fact that this is a dystopian novel where the author has actually managed to create a believable future; no made-up slang here, or casual references to extinct dolphins. My only complaint is the ending; admittedly, you can't please everyone and no matter what she chose, the author was bound to alienate someone. However, I never totally bought the relationship Katniss has with the boy she eventually chooses (Trying not to spoil anything here - if you've read the books, give me shout and tell me if you agree.); I didn't feel like it was in keeping with the fiery nature of the character. Regardless, these books are both terrifying and amazing.
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
You Will Enjoy These Books if You Like: "The Running Man" by Stephen King or Horace McCoy's "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"
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Okay - I have to stop... even though I have four more books to review! ("The Help" by Kathryn Stockett, Ally Condie's "Matched," as well as "Fallen" and "Torment" by Lauren Kate) Stay tuned, gentle readers. Cross my heart that the next set of reviews won't take so long to see the light of day.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Goals? What are those?
Several months ago, a friend of mine published her "45 before 45" list - a more uplifting alternative to a "bucket list." I was inspired to create my own... which has been languishing in my saved documents ever since. (Much like my oft-mentioned post about book reviews... *squirm*) Anyway, here we are:
1. Publish a short story.
2. Take a photography class.
3. Return to London at least once. (Make that twice!)
4. Return to the National Gallery (London) to visit my favorite painting, Van Eyck’s “The Arnolfini Wedding.”
5. Go on a cruise. (I’ll be able to cross this one off very soon.)
6. Stay at the Chateau Frontenac in Quebec City.
7. Take voice lessons.
8. Sing in public. (Karaoke counts!)
9. Travel to Egypt.
10. Travel to Japan.
11. Spend more than $500 on a piece of jewelry for myself.
12. BUY a new car. (Current one is a lease.) <---Done on 11/12! Just goes to show you how long ago I started this.
13. Visit Everglades National Park.
14. Clean up my credit score. (Stupid medical bills!)
15. See the Grand Canyon.
16. Get my CAPS designation (Doing this one next year.)
17. Fit into my high school jeans. (Hope to be able to do this by late January!)
18. See David Bowie in concert.
19. Learn a martial art. (I think everyone agrees this would be safer than me learning how to shoot a gun.)
20. Plant and maintain a garden.
21. Finish a sewing project.
22. Fly first class.
23. Get another dog. Frenchies are my favorite right now!
24. Pay for my parents to take a vacation somewhere amazing.
25. Own and operate a bookstore.
26. Consistently donate to a well-deserving cause/charity.
27. Start a scrapbook.
28. Learn how to properly change a flat tire.
29. Stay in an over-priced luxurious hotel suite for no particular reason.
30. Take dance lessons.
31. Act in a play.
32. Climb a mountain. (Okay – not really. How about a large “hill?”)
33. Ride in a helicopter.
34. Stand on the Great Wall of China.
35. Master the art of lucid dreaming.
36. Break out the ol’ flute and start consistently playing again.
37. Read “Anna Karenina” ALL the way through – no skipping the boring parts.
38. Parlay my editing skills into a decent side income.
39. Spend New Year’s Eve in Times Square
40. Try caviar. (I’ve had the opportunity; I just always say no.)
41. Climb the steps of a Mayan or Aztec pyramid. (Without the evisceration, please - a la “The Ruins.”)
42. Go on a safari.
43. Get a master’s degree.
44. Attend a film festival – Sundance, Tribeca, Telluride, etc.
45. See a play on Broadway.
Some are easy, some are hard - ALL are truly things I would like to accomplish. I found this list diffcult to make, actually. I think it's because I treated it like a promise to myself; I fully intend to at least try to make every one of these happen in the next 10 years and five months. I encourage everyone to try a similar exercise, you might be surprised at what you want to do.
Oh, and I know that most of the goals are self-oriented and involve indulgence. *shrug* What can I say? I'm a Taurus.
1. Publish a short story.
2. Take a photography class.
3. Return to London at least once. (Make that twice!)
4. Return to the National Gallery (London) to visit my favorite painting, Van Eyck’s “The Arnolfini Wedding.”
5. Go on a cruise. (I’ll be able to cross this one off very soon.)
6. Stay at the Chateau Frontenac in Quebec City.
7. Take voice lessons.
8. Sing in public. (Karaoke counts!)
9. Travel to Egypt.
10. Travel to Japan.
11. Spend more than $500 on a piece of jewelry for myself.
12. BUY a new car. (Current one is a lease.) <---Done on 11/12! Just goes to show you how long ago I started this.
13. Visit Everglades National Park.
14. Clean up my credit score. (Stupid medical bills!)
15. See the Grand Canyon.
16. Get my CAPS designation (Doing this one next year.)
17. Fit into my high school jeans. (Hope to be able to do this by late January!)
18. See David Bowie in concert.
19. Learn a martial art. (I think everyone agrees this would be safer than me learning how to shoot a gun.)
20. Plant and maintain a garden.
21. Finish a sewing project.
22. Fly first class.
23. Get another dog. Frenchies are my favorite right now!
24. Pay for my parents to take a vacation somewhere amazing.
25. Own and operate a bookstore.
26. Consistently donate to a well-deserving cause/charity.
27. Start a scrapbook.
28. Learn how to properly change a flat tire.
29. Stay in an over-priced luxurious hotel suite for no particular reason.
30. Take dance lessons.
31. Act in a play.
32. Climb a mountain. (Okay – not really. How about a large “hill?”)
33. Ride in a helicopter.
34. Stand on the Great Wall of China.
35. Master the art of lucid dreaming.
36. Break out the ol’ flute and start consistently playing again.
37. Read “Anna Karenina” ALL the way through – no skipping the boring parts.
38. Parlay my editing skills into a decent side income.
39. Spend New Year’s Eve in Times Square
40. Try caviar. (I’ve had the opportunity; I just always say no.)
41. Climb the steps of a Mayan or Aztec pyramid. (Without the evisceration, please - a la “The Ruins.”)
42. Go on a safari.
43. Get a master’s degree.
44. Attend a film festival – Sundance, Tribeca, Telluride, etc.
45. See a play on Broadway.
Some are easy, some are hard - ALL are truly things I would like to accomplish. I found this list diffcult to make, actually. I think it's because I treated it like a promise to myself; I fully intend to at least try to make every one of these happen in the next 10 years and five months. I encourage everyone to try a similar exercise, you might be surprised at what you want to do.
Oh, and I know that most of the goals are self-oriented and involve indulgence. *shrug* What can I say? I'm a Taurus.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Quitters
If you decide to quit your job, please do the right thing and give appropriate notice. Do not tell your boss at the end of the day that you have an interview for a new job tomorrow and that you'll need to miss work at your current job to make said interview. Do not no call/no show for two days beginning December 26th, ignore phone calls as to your whereabouts, and then finally sheepishly admit that you've decided to quit without notice. Do not show up 15 minutes late (without calling in) after having an "accident" in your pants on the car ride over (without changing those pants), leave the key in the door of the office that was recently burglarized, lie about leaving the key in the door, and then say you're quitting because "things are disorganized around here."
All of these things have been done by my employees. (And yeah, I heartily wish I was lying about the last one.) All of these things have stressed me out, sent me on a tirade, and just generally made me hopping mad. But, in my mind, the most shocking and jaw-dropping aspect of all of these things is that they were done by adults. Not teenagers - not even young, twenty-something whippersnappers - adults. Adults with families and responsibilities. Just take a moment to let that soak in.
Have some courtesy, people. Have some class. Have some dignity, for the love of Mike. But, above all, have some respect for the person who has to clean up after the bridge you just left flaming in your wake.
Unless of course your boss is a jerk-off. Then you have my permission to wet your pants and quit.
All of these things have been done by my employees. (And yeah, I heartily wish I was lying about the last one.) All of these things have stressed me out, sent me on a tirade, and just generally made me hopping mad. But, in my mind, the most shocking and jaw-dropping aspect of all of these things is that they were done by adults. Not teenagers - not even young, twenty-something whippersnappers - adults. Adults with families and responsibilities. Just take a moment to let that soak in.
Have some courtesy, people. Have some class. Have some dignity, for the love of Mike. But, above all, have some respect for the person who has to clean up after the bridge you just left flaming in your wake.
Unless of course your boss is a jerk-off. Then you have my permission to wet your pants and quit.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Landlords Unite!
Apartmentratings.com: the bane of my existence. It sounds like a good idea: a website where renters can rate apartment complexes/landlords on everything from maintenance service to amenities. Presumably, the original intention was to create an open forum to discuss the pros and cons of living in certain places. Ideally, it would be a way to keep people from making poor renting decisions and to put slumlords on notice, so to speak. But unfortunately NO ONE regulates this site. It costs nothing to post (You can even do so anonymously if you wish.) and is almost impossible to have comments removed. So, someone could post blatantly ridiculous lies such as, "My neighbor had a pet monkey that busted out my window and my landlord did nothing about it!" and conceivably I as the landlord in question could not have it removed.
Now, you can pay to have the right to post as a verified property owner/community manager, but how is that fair? I have to pay to defend myself against inane posts such as, "Thier cheats! They just take you money and donn't care about nobody!!!!" while any schizoid with an axe to grind can post his/her hucked-on-foniks-werked-fur-mee bullcrap? How democratic.
And where, oh where is the website for the discerning landlord? The site that will let you know that the guy who just filled out an application plans to never clean his bathroom for the next 12 months? Or that the nice couple to whom you just showed that one-bedroom are amateur taxidermists who will be stuffing rats with sand in their newly-carpeted living room? The answer, of course, is that there is no such website. Because that would be considered libel and therefore *gasp* illegal.
I had a tenant who broke his toilet, did not report the problem, and continued using it for a year. The toilet had to be removed by a biohazard team after he moved out. I had another tenant whose bathroom upon move-out was covered in hair clippings and an unidentifiable orange substance; it looked like someone with a penchant for munching Cheetos(and who also happened to be running a very profitable barber shop) had vomited everywhere. And it smelled like it too. Then there was the guy who filled his entire garage with Diet Coke cans full of urine. Or the man who collected dog feces in bags and kept them in a styrofoam container on his patio. Or the man who wanted to move out of his apartment because he was convinced the gay couple that lived above him would "burrow through his closet and get him." But my absolute favorite has to be the older couple who kept their armless grandson in a closet in their bedroom. (You read right - the word was armless.)
So, yeah, I'd like a website too. And fie on those grammatically-disinclined rejects who have the freedom to lie willy-nilly on the intarwebs. I just wanna know if you plan on hollowing out your oven and turning it into a NASCAR diorama, okay?
Now, you can pay to have the right to post as a verified property owner/community manager, but how is that fair? I have to pay to defend myself against inane posts such as, "Thier cheats! They just take you money and donn't care about nobody!!!!" while any schizoid with an axe to grind can post his/her hucked-on-foniks-werked-fur-mee bullcrap? How democratic.
And where, oh where is the website for the discerning landlord? The site that will let you know that the guy who just filled out an application plans to never clean his bathroom for the next 12 months? Or that the nice couple to whom you just showed that one-bedroom are amateur taxidermists who will be stuffing rats with sand in their newly-carpeted living room? The answer, of course, is that there is no such website. Because that would be considered libel and therefore *gasp* illegal.
I had a tenant who broke his toilet, did not report the problem, and continued using it for a year. The toilet had to be removed by a biohazard team after he moved out. I had another tenant whose bathroom upon move-out was covered in hair clippings and an unidentifiable orange substance; it looked like someone with a penchant for munching Cheetos(and who also happened to be running a very profitable barber shop) had vomited everywhere. And it smelled like it too. Then there was the guy who filled his entire garage with Diet Coke cans full of urine. Or the man who collected dog feces in bags and kept them in a styrofoam container on his patio. Or the man who wanted to move out of his apartment because he was convinced the gay couple that lived above him would "burrow through his closet and get him." But my absolute favorite has to be the older couple who kept their armless grandson in a closet in their bedroom. (You read right - the word was armless.)
So, yeah, I'd like a website too. And fie on those grammatically-disinclined rejects who have the freedom to lie willy-nilly on the intarwebs. I just wanna know if you plan on hollowing out your oven and turning it into a NASCAR diorama, okay?
Sunday, July 18, 2010
"Inception" or "How 'The Matrix' forever ruined movies for me."
When I saw "The Matrix" for the first time, I had that "What the...?" moment that I'm sure many of you had. I went home and thought and thought and thought about it.I didn't quite understand what had happened; Keanu's terrible acting and all that heavy metal music had distracted me. Everything became clearer upon second viewing, and by the third time I'd seen it, I felt comfortable discussing it at length with others.
That was the first movie that ever really baffled me. The first movie where I missed sections of dialogue because I was trying to wrap my head around this giant perception shift.
So now, ever since I saw 'The Matrix,' I can no longer just watch a movie - I have to analyze every bit of it from start to finish. And this makes enjoying a movie awfully hard. Within the first ten minutes of a film, I typically have a fully-formed opinion about: which direction the plot will take, who will die (if it's that sort of picture), whether the romantic leads will end up together, and who the double-crossing friend will be (if it's that sort of picture). It's an understatement to say that the brain is a phenomenal multi-tasker; so, obviously, I can still watch the movie while all this opinion-forming is going on... but it's not the same.
You sort of ruin it for yourself when you boil a movie down (even internally) to its most basic points - girl meets boy, boy dies via T-Rex attack, girl meets new boy, new boy double-crosses girl, girl is sad but eventually rides off into sunset with archaeologist - and you have the potential to miss a lot when you do this. The nuanced performances, the stunning visuals - you're not getting your metaphorical money's worth if your distracted by trying to figure everything out before the first handful of popcorn has been munched. And because I know this, I TRY not to extrapolate the plot so much... but it never works.
Enter "Inception," the buzzed-about film from Chrisophr Nolan ("Memento," "The Dark Knight") - I went to see it last week. I knew that this movie was supposed to be a mind-bender and that there was somewhat of a surprise ending, so what do I do? I start plotting it out in my mind five minutes into the show. No spoilers here, but, for me, the movie did not quite live up to the hype.
But is it because the mass media overstated its greatness? Or is it because I just had to be super sleuth and guess the ending shortly after the opening credits rolled?*
*The author is currently undergoing psychiatric treatment for her problem. She is being made to watch films such as "Citizen Kane" and "Unbreakable" where the endings make no sense and are therefore good aversion therapy.
That was the first movie that ever really baffled me. The first movie where I missed sections of dialogue because I was trying to wrap my head around this giant perception shift.
So now, ever since I saw 'The Matrix,' I can no longer just watch a movie - I have to analyze every bit of it from start to finish. And this makes enjoying a movie awfully hard. Within the first ten minutes of a film, I typically have a fully-formed opinion about: which direction the plot will take, who will die (if it's that sort of picture), whether the romantic leads will end up together, and who the double-crossing friend will be (if it's that sort of picture). It's an understatement to say that the brain is a phenomenal multi-tasker; so, obviously, I can still watch the movie while all this opinion-forming is going on... but it's not the same.
You sort of ruin it for yourself when you boil a movie down (even internally) to its most basic points - girl meets boy, boy dies via T-Rex attack, girl meets new boy, new boy double-crosses girl, girl is sad but eventually rides off into sunset with archaeologist - and you have the potential to miss a lot when you do this. The nuanced performances, the stunning visuals - you're not getting your metaphorical money's worth if your distracted by trying to figure everything out before the first handful of popcorn has been munched. And because I know this, I TRY not to extrapolate the plot so much... but it never works.
Enter "Inception," the buzzed-about film from Chrisophr Nolan ("Memento," "The Dark Knight") - I went to see it last week. I knew that this movie was supposed to be a mind-bender and that there was somewhat of a surprise ending, so what do I do? I start plotting it out in my mind five minutes into the show. No spoilers here, but, for me, the movie did not quite live up to the hype.
But is it because the mass media overstated its greatness? Or is it because I just had to be super sleuth and guess the ending shortly after the opening credits rolled?*
*The author is currently undergoing psychiatric treatment for her problem. She is being made to watch films such as "Citizen Kane" and "Unbreakable" where the endings make no sense and are therefore good aversion therapy.
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