City by the Sea - drug addict (high!) and angsty
Tristan and Isolde - high and English
Milk - high and goofy and gay
Pineapple Express - high and goofy
Date Night - high and white trash
127 Hours - high and goofy and hacks off his arm
Your Highness - high and goofy and wears armor
And the guy isn't even good-looking - he's just goofy. Oh, and he's always smiling. Who does that? As my sister pointed out, he's perfect in his recent role as an egomaniacal artist/serial killer on General Hospital. Why? Because anyone who smiles that much is either a surfing pothead or a serial killer. There are no other possibilities. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the serial killer character's name is 'Franco.' I wonder how that conversation went....
General Hospital writer-type person: "So, James, your character is a complete psycho. He'll be torturing and killing off several characters over the course of a few months. He's completely fleshed out for you in your character bio packet there. Any questions?"
James Franco: "Yeeaaah... so can we change the character's name to my last name? 'Cause that'd be awesome." *cheesy grin*
Or maybe like this:
General Hospital writer-type person: "Mr. Franco, your character is called Benedetto Masterson and he's a stone-cold psycho. Any questions?'
James Franco: "Duhhh... what's his name? Bernie?"
Writer:" No, Benedetto."
James Franco: "Buford?"
Writer: "BEN-UH-DETTO. Benedetto."
James Franco: "Can we get high?"
Writer: *sigh* "How about we just call him Franco?"
James Franco: "Right on. Cool name."
Me, I'm betting the second one. Because despite the fact that Franco has two degrees, writes poetry, and runs his own production company, he sounds like a complete and total dunce every time he opens his mouth. Oh, and did I mention that he looks like he's high? All. The. Time.
So why all the hate for Franco? Because I want Hollywood to stop putting him in movies I would otherwise enjoy.
*brief pause for seething*
Not only will he be the aforementioned genius in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but he will also play the titular character in Oz: the Great and Powerful. I guess one can hope he stays behind the curtain for most of the movie, yes? Oz was a charlatan, but HE WAS NOT HIGH AND/OR GOOFY. Okay - maybe he was goofy. But not James Franco goofy.
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