Monday, May 4, 2009

Round and Round

I have a bad habit of interrupting myself. I start a sentence and then qualify it (and then sometimes qualify it again) before even getting to the meat of the matter.

"So, I was thinking... and I think I thought of this because of that guy from the other day who had the banana on his head... or maybe I was already thinking about it and he just reminded me... I don't know... anyway...."

I do this all the time. And it's annoying. Even to me.

Why do I do this? I think it's a manifestation of my obsessive need to control everything - even myself. I can't have free form thoughts; that would be faaar too chaotic. Of course, maybe this entire blog is about my need to explain... AND THEREFORE CONTROL everything.

Wow. Cyclical neuroses. Fascinating.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Infuriating

I know several people who wander through life, randomly making decisions which effect them monumentally... and then later being genuinely surprised when those hastily made decisions wreak havoc on their lives. These people bemoan the unlucky "accidents" which seem to constantly befall them. "I can't believe my boyfriend left me! I mean, he cheated on his last girlfriend... and he never seemed to be as committed to the relationship as I was... but I just can't believe he left me!" Or "My car broke down again - why me? Yes, it had a million things wrong with when I bought it... and I got it for a steal... but I can't believe there's something wrong with it again!" It's like standing in a mud puddle, jumping up and down... and then complaining because you've got mud on your pants.

How do these people get through life? Shouldn't an advanced and extrapolated evolutionary theory almost guarantee that someone who doesn't see the connection between actions and consequences should perish quickly (and, if I have a say, with a big splat)? Yet they constantly dog my step - here a bewildered thrice-married young woman, there an idealistic forty-something man who's lost his job once again.

I worry that society helps these nitwits - nay, favors them. Individuals who always look straight ahead, never noticing the wake of destruction trailing them, are deemed "positive" and "easy-going;" whereas people who focus on what they've done wrong are "cynical" and "downers." (And, for the record, we prefer "pragmatic." :) )

I have a friend whose actions have irreparably damaged her life as well as the lives of others, but if you were to even imply that different decisions on her part could have resulted in a very changed future for herself and others... well, she'd be shocked and offended at the least.

Hindsight is 20/20, it's hard to see the forest for the trees, blah blah blah: I don't think we should keep making excuses for people like this!