Yes, yes - I have not written a blog in a looong time. But I hate my job right now and I just generally want to stab people. You might think this would make me write more, but truth is that it makes me loathe to do anything.
Here's a peek at my soul-killing job:
A resident came in last week and tried to partially pay her rent. (This isn’t Bargain Bill’s, lady – we need payment in full. Could you go to the grocery store and offer the checkout clerk $100 for your $200 worth of groceries with a promise to come back later with the rest? No. Could you go to a clothing store and tell the salesperson you'll give her $20 for a shirt with a price tag of $90? NO. Then WHY do you think we would be any different?) We let her know that, as it states in her lease, we need payment in full. We give her back her check and tell her to keep it until she has it all. She says she can pay in full on the 9th. We remind her about the late fee on the 6th and tell her to definitely pay in full before the 10th as that is when we begin eviction proceedings on unpaid accounts. She leaves.
She receives a late letter on the 6th which reminds her of her balance, the late fee, and that we file on the 10th. The 9th rolls around – she doesn’t pay. On the 10th, we leave her a message because we still have not received payment and we are about to send her file to the attorney. We don’t hear back and we send over the file.
This morning, I open our outside dropbox to find that she had turned in the keys to her apartment and left me a lovely letter. Her letter, in short, says that we were extremely rude to her and that we should have “worked with her” to let her pay her rent partially. She proudly describes her four months worth of timely rental payments. She mentions several “complaints” she has about our community which, until now, have never been reported. Among these complaints is the supposed existence of a vaguely-described “jagged, rusted piece of metal” sticking out of the ground on which she almost cut her foot. She continues by saying that nowhere in her lease does it explicitly say we “will not work with people at any point in time.” She says we have different ideas about “moral obligations.” She says her attorney told her that we are required to allow her a reasonable amount of time to move out if she doesn’t pay her rent. She quotes several Indiana statutes concerning apartment rentals. She ends the letter by saying she has moved out and that we can contact her attorney (whose name she has not given me) with any questions.
Would you like to see my reply to her letter?
Dear Stupid, Fat Hilljack Woman with Kids from the Movie “The Hills Have Eyes,”
You, madame, are an idiot. Please allow me to elaborate.
1) Your lease explicitly states in Paragraph III that rent must be paid in full, without exception, by the 1st of each month. It also states that a late fee of $50 will be in effect on the 6th of the month if we have not received payment in full. It also states we will pursue the matter legally if rent is not paid in full and that you will be responsible for any attorney’s fees and/or courts costs incurred on your behalf.
2) I do not recall anyone holding a gun to your head the day you signed the lease. I do not recall your eyes rolling back in your head and/or you frothing at the mouth that day either. Therefore, I will assume you were of sound mind and body and not under duress when you entered into the contract. (The former is still debatable considering how epically stupid you are, but I digress...)
3) I am so glad you have access to the internet so that you can faithfully misquote Indiana statutes out of context. Unfortunately for you, I have more than a fifth grade education and am familiar with the law.
4) Your Stanley Kahn-esque and/or possibly imaginary attorney does not frighten me. I wear big girl britches.
5) I am glad you moved. Just looking at you gave me a rash.
In conclusion, I hope you get hit by a garbage truck full of burning diapers.
Hugs and Kisses,
Kelli
So that was my morning. My afternoon involved speaking to Child Protective Services about a resident at a different community who was arrested for leaving her four-year old unattended (in the street) for several hours. And my evening began with one of our perpetually drunk residents screaming at me on the phone because, according to her, the lights in her apartment “keep going on and off when she kicks the electrical outlet.”
On the way home, I bought my favorite British foodstuff, HobNobs, at the store to console myself… only to get home and discover they are the digestives kind. *slump* (If you don’t know what they are, I can’t explain. That’s what Wikipedia is for.)
Meanwhile, back at the compound: I am driving a rental this week since my car is in the shop being repaired after the harrowing life-or-death door-scraping catastrophe that was an old lady and her Dually. I exaggerate of course – it was minor as accidents go, but I’m grumpy and hyperbole is my friend. Anyway, they ironically gave me a rental that is the same make and model as my car. Good news is that I’m familiar with all the bells and whistles and the handling, so I don’t head butt the dashboard every time I brake. Bad news is that the car is a luxury version of my car with a bigger engine… *narrows eyes*… which means I’m going to hate my car for its powerless pickup once I get it back. Crap.
I have about twenty books I could review on here, but I don't have the mental energy - I need it all to do psychic battle with my cretinous residents. And I would like to update you on my short story progress, but it feels like it's still in the early stages and I don't like to talk about them until they're almost finished.
I will however plug some books I am excited about: Melissa Marr's "Graveminder" and Patrick Rothfuss' "A Wise Man's Fear." Read them now.
And now a bug just fell from the ceiling onto my head. *sigh* I'm leaving to go to veg on the couch...
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